Who told you that?!

I was meditating on some of the absurd decisions we young people make, and found myself asking, “Who is advising you?”

It’s natural to seek counsel—to air out our thoughts and reason through decisions. But too often, we’re like Rehoboam, Solomon’s son. He had advisers, but they were young, inexperienced, and misguided. Instead of leading him to wisdom, they reinforced his own desires, and the result? Division and disaster (1 Kings 12:8-19).

Proverbs 24:6 says, “In the multitude of counsellors, there is safety”, but that only holds true if those counsellors are wise. A title, an opinion, or even good intentions don’t make someone a true counsellor—wisdom does.

Digging deeper, there’s another layer to this: the multitude of counsellors…

"The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but he who is wise listens to counsel." 

Proverbs 12:15

Many of us think we have wise counsel, but in reality, we’ve locked ourselves into echo chambers—only listening to voices that sound like us, think like us, and agree with us. We seek comfort, not clarity. Confirmation, not correction.

• If all your advisers come from one generation, you might gain experience without fresh insight, or, innovation without seasoned wisdom.
• If all your advisers share the same background, you may gain depth but lack breadth.
• If all your advisers think like you, your ideas may be reinforced but never refined.
• If all your advisers challenge you, but none truly know you, you may be stretched but not rooted.

Wisdom is balanced. It is sharpened by diverse voices, tested by experience, and refined by the challenges of love.

The right counsel won’t just tell you what you want to hear, but what you need to hear. They’ll see your blind spots, stretch your thinking, anchor you in truth; provide accountability based on previous pledges, and ultimately give space for independent processing too.

So, before you make that next decision, ask yourself: Am I truly being advised, or just being affirmed? Because who you listen to determines where you’ll end up.

Your boy,
JK