Exaggeration is tempting!
Because of how much easier it is to convince people with “Bigger” and “Better”, communicators are always faced with the internal battle of exaggeration.
Unfortunately, several communicators opt for, and settle with the expanded not quite true, not quite false version of events.
The question then remains: “Is there a balance that can be struck, such that one is able to utilise the sense of ‘bigger’ and ‘better’ without lying or exaggerating?”
The Temptation…
Because of how much easier it is to convince people with “Bigger” and “Better”, communicators are always faced with the internal battle of exaggeration.
Unfortunately, several communicators opt for, and settle with the expanded not quite true, not quite false version of events.
The question then remains: “Is there a balance that can be struck, such that one is able to utilise the sense of ‘bigger’ and ‘better’ without lying or exaggerating?”
The answer is an emphatic “Yes! But with caution.”
For example, if you spoke to 600 people during a gathering, making a remark like, “...I spoke to about 1000 people...” would fall into the category of, “Not quite true, but not quite false.”
Whereas, if you said, “I spoke to hundreds of people...”, that would class as a good way of utilising the “bigger” and “better” (which plays its part in adding credibility at times), without erring into the “Not quite true” category.
Exaggeration is one of the many points addressed at the Public Speaking Masterclass. The next one will be on the 31st of this month, in Manchester. In the masterclass, I share some more insight that I’ve been able to garner over the last decade of publicly speaking. I hope to see you there! Registration link, with further details below!
I got a 3rd Class...
I always say that my life is a testimony and people wonder why...Well, in 2015, I found out that I was awarded a 3rd class! And that even after my re-sits, I would have to wait until the following year to qualify for graduation. In that period, I didn't get grades that I could proudly post about, neither was I sure what would become of me or how I would navigate on from that point in my life.
As I glance through Social Media, I see several graduation images accompanied with captions like, "I just graduated with a First class...So happy to have obtained my 2:1! Chapter over, on to the next one..."
This post is for those that might have failed to attain those coveted end results for one reason or another.
I always say that my life is a testimony and people wonder why...Well, in 2015, I found out that I was awarded a 3rd class! And that even after my re-sits, I would have to wait until the following year to qualify for graduation. In that period, I didn't get grades that I could proudly post about, neither was I sure what would become of me or how I would navigate on from that point in my life.
Fast forward to now, and though I still have a long way to go, I want to use this opportunity to encourage those that might feel like they failed. You haven't! Yes, you find yourself in a position where you might need to go for some extra training, or pass through a different non-traditional route, or change short term plans altogether...because you are still alive, there is HOPE!
You might not feel worthy to post or might feel like you've let yourself and family down. But I want to personally encourage you to use this period and what you were able to gain (no matter how small), as a reminder and as part of your drive & motivation going forward.
Your grades can help, but will not determine the final outcome of your life. Take some time out to reflect on areas you could have approached better, list down all the positives that have come out of the process and time spent at university, and then with the help of some advisors, formulate a new life plan. You can still do great things in life!
In another post, I'll highlight some of the practical things I engaged in that have helped me along the way. In the mean time, please don't lose hope! Please don't give up! This set-back might be painful, but don't allow the pain hinder you. Instead channel it! All will be well!
Buying
Because it goes against human nature to be patient, many people would spend the time whinging & moaning about the need to wait for what they thought should have been a straightforward meeting. Some would spend the time worrying about whether the meeting will still take place, whilst some would impatiently leave to do “other things”.
If you knew you had to wait for a few hours before having an extremely important meeting, what would you do to occupy the time?
Because it goes against human nature to be patient, many people would spend the time whinging & moaning about the need to wait for what they thought should have been a straightforward meeting. Some would spend the time worrying about whether the meeting will still take place, whilst some would impatiently leave to do “other things”.
It’s one thing to be sure of the meeting itself. It’s another thing to Buy-in to the waiting process.
Life’s opportunities present themselves in phases, and most times, the time lapse between one phase and another can seem like an eternity. In such cases, one is tempted to moan, get annoyed, be unnecessarily anxious or even abort mission and move on to something “easier” and “more straightforward”.
In our process of waiting, there is joy to be had when we learn to appreciate the NOW, when we enjoy the free time we have, when we make full access of the resources we have access to now. Because a time will come when the meeting will be had-the next phase will begin. Will you regret not making the most of your NOW?
There is a region in Alaska where prolonged periods of darkness are experienced for up to 67 days in a row!
The “meeting” will take place soon. Be patient, but more importantly, accept and willingly make the most of the process and your NOW. Sleep more! Read more! Learn more! Let’s learn the art of Buying into the Buy-In.
"I don't have a gift..."
If something happened to my mouth, which meant I could never speak again, I would immediately turn to pen and paper, so I could motivate with my words. In fact, some of my greatest sources of encouragement have come from what I read, and not what was said, surprisingly.
Someone needs to hear this!
[An excerpt from my upcoming book on purpose…]
Because many of us have tied our gifts to activities, when we can't 'easily' perform popular activities like speaking publicly, playing sports, or playing an instrument, we automatically assume that we are not gifted.
Well, here’s a reminder…
The physical outlook of our gifts are heavily dependent on our environment, our exposure and the experience we are able to garner over time.
I speak publicly because for over 20 years, I have been in an environment where I personally observed my parents consistently, passionately and effectively, publicly communicate ideas as a large part of their vocation and career. That, as well as the fact that, my environments have provided me various opportunities to regularly speak (whether I wanted to or not); that public speaking is now a verified occupation, which has only really become the case in the last few decades, and that I’ve taken time to attend several courses over the years which have empowered me to motivate more effectively.
I could go on listing how different factors have played their part in the physical expressions of my different gifts, but we will be here for a very long time, so I won’t.
Through it all, one thing has become clear to me, and that is: my gifts are first intangible and immaterial at their core.
At the core of my public speaking (physical expression), I know that the real gift I posses is the gift of motivation! This could have manifested physically as a life coach, as a counsellor, as a comedian (because believe it or not, comedians also motivate and encourage), or even as an artist. The point remains. We need to…
Stop tying our gifts to physical activities!
If something happened to my mouth, which meant I could never speak again, I would immediately turn to pen and paper, so I could motivate with my words. In fact, some of my greatest sources of encouragement have come from what I read, and not what was said, surprisingly.
That said though, I definitely still prefer to motivate via spoken word, but you get my point!
So long as there is breath in you, there is at least one unique essence and virtue which you can channel positively, regardless of the cards life deals you. Everyone has a gift…We’ve just been looking at it wrong…
I played this over and over whilst I wrote the words you’ve just read. As you play it, allow your mind wander, whilst you meditate on the true nature of your gift(s). You are more than meets the eye!
You're scared aren't you?
To be startled, is to feel or experience sudden shock or alarm, whereas being scared, speaks to more deep rooted and unpleasant emotions that could eventually hinder one from progressing, advancing or moving forward.
Recently I’ve been meditating on the difference between being startled and being scared…
I finally reached the conclusion that, both can and usually will warrant an initial short term reaction which changes when considering medium to long term implications.
To be startled, is to feel or experience sudden shock or alarm, whereas being scared, speaks to more deep rooted and unpleasant emotions that could eventually hinder one from progressing, advancing or moving forward.
Speaking to myself first, I find that we often make unfair demands when we unnecessarily beat ourselves up for being startled in a moment. The sudden shock experienced from the unexpected speaks to active and functioning sensory organs and detectors more than anything. The fact that we jump when startled just means we are alive! It is one of the many in-built systems that have aided the survival of man over many centuries. Just because we were made to ‘jump’ when faced with a challenge or something we weren’t used to, doesn’t mean we aren’t prepared or qualified to progress and proceed.
I write this for someone like me who has for-gone opportunities because they were startled in one way or another. Don’t allow some initial sudden shock succeed in scaring you off the path you were meant to venture! It is one thing to be scared - fear has its own remedy, but it’s another thing to allow a sudden shock to graduate into fear in our minds. We must not be unnecessarily hard on ourselves. It is ok to be startled. But it is NOT ok to allow that sudden shock to lead to long term fear.
When faced with a sudden shock, especially when chasing goals and dreams, it is important to remind ourselves of these questions:
• Could there be other facts that I am yet to be made aware of that would further re-assure me for the journey I am embarking on?
• Will this really matter in the grand scheme of things?
• Am I giving this momentary shock more importance in my mind than actually exists?
• Are there previous similar experiences I can draw on where I worried and was scared unnecessarily?
• How can I learn from this sudden shock for the future?
There is a difference between being startled and being scared. Don’t allow the short term shock, become a long term obstacle.
When you ‘jump’, decide to proceed forward anyway!
You were made for this!
...Everybody say Yeahhhh!
Something to think on further…
“If we find ourselves moving from being startled to being scared, how do we overcome such fear, and is it solely mental?”
Let me know your thoughts below!